Wife, Blogger, Doula, and good good girlfriend… (well in my head anyway) Brandi Sellerz aka B. Stereo is a jack of all trades but out of all the many hats she wears,(shes a singer too) perhaps the most important one is her role as Mom!
I recently reached out to Brandi to see if she would be interested in being a part of this series and she graciously obliged. #givethanks
We decided that a Q&A would be the best way to go for part III of the series because…well we’re super busy mamas, wives, entrepreneurs, etc…there goes that list of “hats” again. Plus a question & answer gets straight to the point, no grey area, no chaser.
I hope you all get some great insight and tips on how to raise your boys to be free in a society that’s hell bent on trying to label and box. I know I did!
Lets continue to do all that’s in our power to encourage our sons to adopt a more positive masculine outlook & thank you again Brandi for being a part of this series, you are appreciated! ♡
The Q & A is below. Check it out and thanks for vibing out with us!
1.) What is your definition of toxic masculinity and what does healthy/non-toxic Masculinity look like to you?
I believe in balance, Equality and equity for all. I believe when there is an imbalance and/or over exaggeration of the “masculine” norm, it is inevitable for there to be toxicity. When a young boy is told certain colors are for girls that to me are not only absurd, but toxic. When a girl is told that a boy likes her because he shoved her at the sandbox or hit her that is toxic. Anytime boys are expected to be aggressive or not sensitive or devoid of any and/or all emotional attachment, this can all be deemed as masculine toxicity.
2.) In our society, do you believe masculinity is defined differently for young men of color when compared to their white counterparts?
I believe that it is defined differently. Thanks to our country’s history, Black men have not been given the opportunity to simply define masculinity for themselves. They are expected to be strong, all the while at times being emasculated. Between the stereotypes and non-truths, it’s a lot to sift through generationally. Our men have feelings. It’s unfortunate that we have generations of men who were not given the ok that every single part of them is beautiful.
3.) What ways can mothers encourage their sons to adopt a healthier masculine outlook?
We can allow them space to define masculinity for themselves. We can allow them to be strong all while being nurturing. We can grant them the space that perhaps our own fathers or lovers weren’t granted. Asking our sons questions like, “How did ______ make you feel?” Encouraging them to use their words is key! Allowing them to feel and express those feelings is very imperative.
4.) Do you believe raising our sons as feminists or womanists, whichever you prefer will help prevent them from adopting toxic masculine personalities?
Raising young boys, who are feminists, simply means that you are raising boys who believe in the equality, equity, and the progress of women.
I believe that raising our sons with awareness is so very necessary. When we raise our children to be aware of others (even IF it may not affect them personally), we are inherently raising them to be compassionate and empathetic. Sure, we may not be able to shield them from all the negative messages that they may receive, as the world is so very big. However, as their parents, we have the power to teach our children and say what is simply not ok and/or fair.
Now this is good stuff!
“Brandy, I want to thank you again for your contribution to the Boys will be Boys blog series and for your contributions to sisterhood/motherhood in general. Keep inspiring; keep being light and as always Tribe On sis!”
Stay tuned for the 4th and final part of the 《Boys will be Boys》 series right here on the MyVibe-MyTribe blog!
Give away coming soon!